Women are pessimistic about the amount of money available and believe that salary offers and raises are fixed. Men perceive offers as a reference point for negotiation. Typical male starting salaries are $4000.00 more than female starting salaries. By age 60, males have amassed $568,834 more than the females in the same positions. What a difference a conversation can make!

Women have low expectations and lack knowledge of monetary worth. In fact, many women are so grateful to be offered a job that they accept the initial offer without negotiating. To explain differences between men and women, one must understand that gender roles are formed by age 2. For example, little girls play with different toys than little boys. Boys are paid to wash the car while girls are expected to do the dishes. Think about your parent’s while growing up. Dad sits down for his meal and Mom serves it, Dad drives the car and Mom is a passenger. Women are passive due to lifelong notions of unselfishness, are not used to getting things they want, believe that they are perceived as being difficult if they come on too strong, prefer to be rewarded for hard work, and receive raises without asking.

Before sitting down to negotiate, remember that negotiation means that you must use your influence in a positive manner. Assertive, aggressive behaviors are not considered attributes, but likeability always wins. The double standard in negotiation means that what works for a man will work against a woman.

In other words, successful women must negotiate in the feminine role. Dress like a women, speak softly and slowly, use the power of pause, inject a little self-directed humor, use emotions properly, remember that you are worthy, and only appear vulnerable.

I recently discussed the contents of this book with a female surgeon in our practice. She had recently learned that the male surgeons in our group were earning almost $100,000.00 more per year while operating on fewer patients. Needless to say, she agreed to utilize the strategies recommended in the book. The end result was a generous counteroffer plus five years of retroactive bonuses!

The authors of Women Don’t Ask:  Negotiation and the Gender Divide have a website womendontask.com. This is an excellent and informative site. It offers an option to purchase the book online, view statistics, access other articles, and other interesting tidbits.. Although the book is geared toward the female gender, the applications can be utilized by both male and female genders.

Nursing is all about evidence-based research. Remember, employers offer less than they are willing to pay because they fully expect a counteroffer. It is extremely important to remember that you are worth more than the initial offer. When you finally arrive at the negotiation table, you must be armed with knowledge. This means doing your research. The best way to approach this task if by looking at salary comparisons of both sex professional peers.  The following websites have proven to be extremely helpful: careerbuilder.com; quintcareers.com; salary.com; JobStar.com and salaryexpert.com.

Good luck fellow nurses… don’t forget to ask!

 

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